The Journey Goes On

Hello everybody!
So this is my first English blog! :) I hope you all can give me some grace for typo’s, spelling mistakes or wrong sayings :P So I hope it won’t be too bad (A)


For everyone who isn’t updated on my life, I’ve just returned from my DTS (DiscipleshipTrainingSchool with Youth With A Mission, Madison, WI (USA)) two weeks ago.

My last half year has been really good. Extremely challenging, stretching and by times (a lot of times) frustrating. The biggest thing I think I have taken away from my DTS, is that I got to know God in a totally different way, not in particular my relationship with God, but mostly about God’s character. Who He is and who He wants to be for me, in the exceptional moment that I let Him be who He is, because most of the times I think it’s too scary or unpredictable..


But back to normal life, because that is how it feels. I’ve been back in the Netherlands for about two weeks now. Found out that I am more ‘Americanized’ than I had expected. Haha, I don’t understand reactions from people sometimes because they’re so different than reactions from Americans.
It is so weird to not have a structured life at the moment, for those who have done a dts, you guys know that life is structured in a way (it changes all the time, but you don’t have to plan your own days :P). Especially because I don’t have a job yet or whatever, so I’ve mostly been socializing with people and trying to get used to the Netherlands again. Which is harder than expected, haha, but I’m getting there!

I want to share something that I wrote in my journal a week ago;
‘I can’t go around my opinion or view anymore. Before, I just wouldn’t talk about stuff like God or faith or whatever. But now people ask me directly so I either have to ignore the question on purpose or I have to speak up, which is good.
It’s time for me to take a stand, not to slap people in the face with my opinion, but neither just ignore my opinion because I’m too scared what people will think about me when I tell what I think, believe or know.’

So being back is not only a pain or sad, it really has showed me some good stuff, life goes on without DTS, God is not limited by DTS.

Being back really shows me the importance of the need of making choices. The choice to keep up with quiet time (quality time with Jesus), keep listening to God’s voice and keep obeying Him, to keep up with my dts-buddy’s and not just close that chapter because it’s easier to really let go instead of keep the memories and the missing people that goes with it.

So life is not only sadness and depression. The last two weeks it has been hard keeping up with God, but He also had some pretty cool surprises for me here.
For example last two weeks’ sermons were totally for me, about ups and downs in faith, and keep expecting it from God. I feel bad for the rest of the people in church since the sermon was only for me, no but seriously, that was really cool. (Also showed me that I’m not alone in this thing with faith)

Okay, I just want to tell you one more story. Something that really made sense last week. It’s a story about Easter.
In the Netherlands we have this event, called ‘The Passion’. It is a life event that tells the story of Easter. It is kind of like a musical, with famous Dutch (not always Christian!) people and popular Dutch music (mostly not Christian). I think it is a really cool event, because sometimes people just come to see the celebrities but they hear the story of Jesus and who knows what it will do!
The first two years of this event I watched it on the television, but this year I wanted to actually go there! So I found a friend to come with me and we went, it was last Thursday. It was cool and the atmosphere was amazing. But there was one little thing,
in the story, there is this one moment where the people of Israel tell Pontius Pilate who they want to be free (Barabbas or Jesus) and what they want to be done with Jesus (crucified). The leaders of the event asked us (the audience) to be the people of Israel, so we were supposed to yell ‘Barabbas’ and ‘Crucify Him!’.
So I was like, sure! Cool!
But when we actually had to do it, when I yelled; ‘Barabbas’, it really hit me that I was condemning Jesus right there. I was no better than those Israelites that condemned Jesus.
I was not able to yell ‘Crucify Him!’

But today, something bigger hit me. Every time I am unwilling to do what God asks me or I think the cross was not that important for me, I condemn Him again, I say again ‘Crucify Him!’. It is my own choice, but not without consequences.
Good Friday has a whole new and bigger meaning to me, it actually has something to do with my life now!